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Help - Tattoo Symbols/Quotes rep. Overcoming Hardship/Abuse

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JenniferK

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 1:16 am    Post subject: Help - Tattoo Symbols/Quotes rep. Overcoming Hardship/Abuse Reply with quote

Hello. (:

I have been considering what I want my first tattoo to be for a very long time, for several years. My mother is taking me the day I turn 18 to get my first tattoo.

I know that I will definitely be getting an elephant silhouette on my wrist to represent strength, but also luck. Also, I realize that the wrist is a painful place for a tattoo, especially a first tattoo, but I am okay with that.

I decided that I also need, I definitely want to, but more so need to, get a tattoo to represent what I have gone through in my past and the fact that I lived through it. That I have come to peace with my childhood and am ready to live my life.

I am mostly considering a dragonfly tattoo for my other wrist. The dragonfly represents, among other things, peace. I'd want the body to be a mix of red and blue.

Red would stand for the courage I had to live through the emotional and sometimes physical abuse my father dished out, but also the anger I held towards him for what he did and also for the fact that he never apologized.

Blue would stand for peace, which I, of course, have come to with the events that happened during the first 10 years of my life and the emotional toll it took on my mind and body every year since.

That said, I would like to get a second tattoo representing what I went through. I am thinking that it should be a quote, but I would also consider a symbol (animal, sign, etc.) or a mix of the two.

I just honestly cannot think of something that truly represents the hardships I faced and how I used to feel about them, but, also, how I feel about them now.

What I went through as a child was bad, really really bad. I experienced mostly emotional abuse, but, also, on occasion, physical abuse, and just plain bad parenting. For years after finally getting out of that situation, the images and memories of things that happened continually played on repeat in my mind and took a huge toll on my body.

Then, about a year ago, I realized something: I realized that I never once asked for help. I never told a teacher, I never told my mother that I was too scared of being there any more, I never did anything.

This revaluation didn't come with a, "Why didn't I?", it just came with the fact that I didn't.

Recently, I realized why: I never knew that I could. If I had known that, if I just mentioned it to someone, all of the pain and suffering could have ended. My father had such a control over my mind that I didn't even think of finding a way out.

After I had this second realization, I decided that I could finally put to rest what had weighed so heavily on my mind for so long. I can finally overcome that my father is a SOB and a poor excuse of a husband, a father, and, frankly, a human being. I can overcome the fact that I will never hear him utter the words, "I'm sorry," because he simply doesn't want to, because he isn't sorry, and I don't want him to apologize for something that he is not sorry for.

I am done with him. I've not forgiven him or forgotten his actions, but I am over them.

I know that, after all of that reading, if you are even still reading, you are probably ready to scream, "Too much information," but I want you to know what this tattoo would mean to me and why I so badly need it.

So, please, if you have any ideas, throw them at me!

Thank you,
Jen
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Rufus08

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 7:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Even though it seems that you have lived through many trials and tribulations, your life has just started and what will become of your life in the next 60 years is yet to be seen. Wait on your survival tattoo. You can only truly be a survivor when you have continued on with your life, created your own family and have broken the cycle of abuse by not abusing your own family. Until then, you are still the victim. It sounds like we have similar backgrounds...you may decide at some point that you do not want a tattoo to permanently remind you of times best forgotten. Just my 2 cents worth.
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buttwheat

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 9:15 am    Post subject: Re: Help - Tattoo Symbols/Quotes rep. Overcoming Hardship/Ab Reply with quote

JenniferK wrote:


My mother is taking me the day I turn 18 to get my first tattoo.




So the bad parenting continues
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JenniferK

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 9:29 am    Post subject: Re: Help - Tattoo Symbols/Quotes rep. Overcoming Hardship/Ab Reply with quote

buttwheat wrote:
JenniferK wrote:


My mother is taking me the day I turn 18 to get my first tattoo.




So the bad parenting continues
Please keep those remarks to yourself. Tattoos are not a bad thing and if you truly thought they were, you would not be a part of a tattoo-oriented website.

My mother taking me to get my first tattoo is not bad parenting. Her forcing me to wait until I am 18 instead of signing the consent forms for me to do it now is good parenting. It gives me the time to truly contemplate what I want to permanently put on my body for the rest of my life.
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JenniferK

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 9:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rufus08 wrote:
Even though it seems that you have lived through many trials and tribulations, your life has just started and what will become of your life in the next 60 years is yet to be seen. Wait on your survival tattoo. You can only truly be a survivor when you have continued on with your life, created your own family and have broken the cycle of abuse by not abusing your own family. Until then, you are still the victim. It sounds like we have similar backgrounds...you may decide at some point that you do not want a tattoo to permanently remind you of times best forgotten. Just my 2 cents worth.
I respect your opinion, but will have to politely disagree.

I am no longer the victim, and to be considered the victim, still, by others just doesn't allow me to move forward.

At this point in my life, this is the way I feel about the situation. I want this feeling to always be with me, no matter how many times that feeling or my mind changes. I don't believe in regrets, to an extent. Tattooing something on my body that represents a major breakthrough at one point in my life is something that I could never regret.
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buttwheat

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:03 am    Post subject: Re: Help - Tattoo Symbols/Quotes rep. Overcoming Hardship/Ab Reply with quote

JenniferK wrote:
buttwheat wrote:
JenniferK wrote:


My mother is taking me the day I turn 18 to get my first tattoo.




So the bad parenting continues
Please keep those remarks to yourself. Tattoos are not a bad thing and if you truly thought they were, you would not be a part of a tattoo-oriented website.

My mother taking me to get my first tattoo is not bad parenting. Her forcing me to wait until I am 18 instead of signing the consent forms for me to do it now is good parenting. It gives me the time to truly contemplate what I want to permanently put on my body for the rest of my life.




You are right. I'm sorry you're almost eighteen you know what you will want visible to everyone on you for the rest of your life. Having your mom take you to get these scars of the past permanently on you is a sign of good parenting. once again I apologize for my ignorance. Good luck. what was your question again?
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flyangler

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OP lost me when I found out red stands for courage and blue for peace. However I think a large cobra or a unicorn screwing a duck would be cool.
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JenniferK

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:13 am    Post subject: Re: Help - Tattoo Symbols/Quotes rep. Overcoming Hardship/Ab Reply with quote

buttwheat wrote:
JenniferK wrote:
Please keep those remarks to yourself. Tattoos are not a bad thing and if you truly thought they were, you would not be a part of a tattoo-oriented website.

My mother taking me to get my first tattoo is not bad parenting. Her forcing me to wait until I am 18 instead of signing the consent forms for me to do it now is good parenting. It gives me the time to truly contemplate what I want to permanently put on my body for the rest of my life.

You are right. I'm sorry you're almost eighteen you know what you will want visible to everyone on you for the rest of your life. Having your mom take you to get these scars of the past permanently on you is a sign of good parenting. once again I apologize for my ignorance. Good luck. what was your question again?
Look, I am not putting the scars of my past on my body. I am putting something on my body that represents my personal growth and breakthroughs over time. The "scars" were all in my mind.

Thanks for understanding. wink
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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

blah blah blah You've been watching too many L.A. Ink episodes. It's great that you've "overcome" so many "obstacles" and are still here to talk about it, but that's what being a teenager is like.

As much as you think you've gotten over whatever happened to you, you clearly haven't because you just went through a whole diatribe about it, and are getting a tattoo to REMIND you of it all the time. When it sounds like it's something you want to FORGET about and MOVE ON/AWAY from.

I'm not trying to come off as a cock here, I had issues with my old man too, I think most of us have. but getting a tattoo that represents something negative, while it may seem like a good idea now, you'll probably end up regretting down the line.

I like your dragonfly idea. I think a really good artist could make it look really good, but the wrist is such a visible place for a first tattoo, and a siloutte? It will probably come off looking like a giant black blotch.

Trust me, I see young people come on this messageboard all the time with tattoos they regret. Listen to the people who're telling you to rethink this even if your mom is supporting you on it.
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JenniferK

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

flyangler wrote:
OP lost me when I found out red stands for courage and blue for peace. However I think a large cobra or a unicorn screwing a duck would be cool.
...I am not sure how to reply to that second sentence, but thanks? XD

As far as the color meanings go, you can look at these sites for more information on color psychology:
http://www.crystal-cure.com/color-meanings.html
http://www.infoplease.com/spot/colors1.html
http://www.digitalskratch.com/color-psychology.php
http://www.catalogs.com/info/people/what-does-your-favorite-color-mean.html

However, I've been a student of art for long enough to know color meanings and interpretations.

For blue, it literally does represent calmness and peace.

On the other hand, red evokes strong emotions and awareness. By way of interpretation, red is a color that represents courage for me.
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flyangler

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JenniferK wrote:
flyangler wrote:
OP lost me when I found out red stands for courage and blue for peace. However I think a large cobra or a unicorn screwing a duck would be cool.
...I am not sure how to reply to that second sentence, but thanks? XD

As far as the color meanings go, you can look at these sites for more information on color psychology:
http://www.crystal-cure.com/color-meanings.html
http://www.infoplease.com/spot/colors1.html
http://www.digitalskratch.com/color-psychology.php

http://www.catalogs.com/info/people/what-does-your-favorite-color-mean.html

However, I've been a student of art for long enough to know color meanings and interpretations.

For blue, it literally does represent calmness and peace.

On the other hand, red evokes strong emotions and awareness. By way of interpretation, red is a color that represents courage for me.


You are totally LA Inked, as Gloom suggested. A elephant would be cool though
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JenniferK

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gloom wrote:
blah blah blah You've been watching too many L.A. Ink episodes. It's great that you've "overcome" so many "obstacles" and are still here to talk about it, but that's what being a teenager is like.

As much as you think you've gotten over whatever happened to you, you clearly haven't because you just went through a whole diatribe about it, and are getting a tattoo to REMIND you of it all the time. When it sounds like it's something you want to FORGET about and MOVE ON/AWAY from.

I'm not trying to come off as a cock here, I had issues with my old man too, I think most of us have. but getting a tattoo that represents something negative, while it may seem like a good idea now, you'll probably end up regretting down the line.

I like your dragonfly idea. I think a really good artist could make it look really good, but the wrist is such a visible place for a first tattoo, and a siloutte? It will probably come off looking like a giant black blotch.

Trust me, I see young people come on this messageboard all the time with tattoos they regret. Listen to the people who're telling you to rethink this even if your mom is supporting you on it.
Thank you for your thoughts. (:

However, please don't try to decide that what I went through was merely what any given person does. I could easily sit and give the details of what happened, but it would take me an hour to write. The gist of it is that my father was an abusive alcoholic, a really bad one. He abused not only myself, but my mother and my sister. He was mostly emotionally abusive, but was also physically abusive in that it was nothing for him to slap a child for refusing to try his alcohol and the like. On more then one occasion, I was the only elementary school student wearing make-up to class so that I wouldn't be questioned on the bruises left on my face.

Being a teenager is NOT about being slapped around and constantly being degraded like you are nothing but a piece of s**t left by a horse in the street.

And, whether you would like to believe me or not, I am over it. It took me a long time to come to terms with what happened, but I now have and am over it. I don't want to "forget" what happened, I never will, but I have moved on to bigger and better things then worrying about why the f**k I had to go through what I did.

I don't want a tattoo so that it "reminds" me of what happened, it is to represent my overcoming what happened and deciding that, honestly, my father isn't worth the time I take to think about him.

And, no, wrist tattoos, especially lighter colored ones like the dragonfly one would be, would be incredibly easy to cover. Just slap some foundation over it to lighten it, then put on a wide bracelet or a watch with a wide band. Also, considering the only person I would need to hide it from for the next six years of my life is my grandmother, I don't think I will have much of an issue there.

I don't want a tattoo because their cool, or because everyone has one, I am not that shallow. I have legitimate reasons and feelings behind the meanings of the art that I want on my body.

Oh, and while I was a fan of tattooing shows on television for a while, I soon grew tired of the 300 koi fish being tattooed. I understand that they meant something to someone, but it simply did not interest me. wink


Last edited by JenniferK on Thu May 27, 2010 10:37 am; edited 1 time in total
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JenniferK

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

flyangler wrote:
You are totally LA Inked, as Gloom suggested. A elephant would be cool though
I am sorry, but I do not follow how colors mean that I am addicted to tattooing shows? :/

But, thank you. I decided on the elephant tattoo many years ago and have not changed my mind since. I know that I want it for sure.
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flyangler

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

don't get a silhouette though. Bo big or go home.[img]
[/img]
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JenniferK

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

flyangler wrote:
don't get a silhouette though. Bo big or go home.
Ha ha. Very Happy While both of those are amazing, I just do not want such a large tattoo. Maybe in the future, many years down the road, I might decide I want something big, but not now. Razz

The elephant tattoo I will be getting will be about two inches wide and proportionally tall. Imagine an elephant walking by in front of you, you see the side of the elephant. That is what I want.

Just in all black. =)
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