Help - Tattoo Symbols/Quotes rep. Overcoming Hardship/Abuse

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Gloom
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Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:07 pm

Thu May 27, 2010 10:59 am

I wasn't saying that what you went through is some typical shit. I meant that we all when we were a teenager thought about the stuff that happened in our childhood that fucked us up.

Being a late-teen-early-twenty-something person is hard. It's when you're first learning about love and emotions, and it's a lot to deal with and figure out. It's when people start treating you like an adult, even if you don't neccesarily feel like one.

I have compassion for you and that's why I spent time writing to you, not because it's fun to make someone feel like shit. There's plenty of other posts on here that I could have a field day with if that was my pleasure.

If you wanna talk about abuse, my father was an alcoholic and drug addict my whole life. He also beat me, and mentally and verbally abused me and my mom for being fat. He started taking heroin when I was 16. He would drop in when no one was home and steal our belongings to support his habit. He was frequently in and out of girlfriend's houses, halfway homes, and jail. When I was 20 he died of an overdose in my house and I had to perform cpr on him until the paramedics came, only to find out he was already long gone... and then I had to come home and tell my mom (who stayed devout toward him no matter what).

but I don't take anyone's struggles lightly. I think that we all have our obstacles and things that we have to overcome, and who am I to judge who has it worse?

But, if I can use my experience to help someone else from making a bad decision, you're damn right I'm gonna try. You have your path and you're going to make your own decisions for a very long time. I know you feel like you've lived an eternity and that you could die tomorrow and you want to experience everything you can. But seriously think about this one, this is going to be on you FOREVER, you can cover it with makeup for job interviews but YOU know it's under there, and that you can't cover.

I'm not trying to talk you out of the tattoo, I love all my tattoos, and I FIRMLY believe EVERYONE should try it before they check out. I am trying to talk you out of an idea, that seems to me impulsive and something you'll end up regretting. I had similar tatoo ideas when I was young and thank God I was too much of a pussy to get ink then, because I KNOW I would be regretting them now.

I'm just asking you to do your research. Find an artist you really like and pay the extra money, talk to them and ask them where a good place for a 1st tattoo would be. Make sure it IS a good experience that's empowering and uplifting. The last thing you need is a shitty tattoo done in a shitty shop that reminds you of a shitty time FOREVER.
JenniferK
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:54 am

Thu May 27, 2010 11:09 am

Gloom wrote:If you wanna talk about abuse, my father was an alcoholic and drug addict my whole life. He also beat me, and mentally and verbally abused me and my mom for being fat. He started taking heroin when I was 16. He would drop in when no one was home and steal our belongings to support his habit. He was frequently in and out of girlfriend's houses, halfway homes, and jail. When I was 20 he died of an overdose in my house and I had to perform cpr on him until the paramedics came, only to find out he was already long gone... and then I had to come home and tell my mom (who stayed devout toward him no matter what).
Our lives are extremely similar, then. The only difference is that my father is still alive.

I understand your statements more now that I realize that you know where I am coming from, but it doesn't change my mind or that fact that I HAVE thought about these for a long time. I am in no way a person that is quick to pull the trigger.

Also, heck no, this is not an impulsive decision. (:

The elephant tattoo I decided on many years ago and still want, and will forever love. The dragonfly I decided on recently, but by the time I can get it tattooed, it would have been more than two years since thinking of it.

If, in that two years, I no longer want the dragonfly, then fine, I won't get it.

Like I said to someone before, I don't believe in regrets, to an extent. By that, I mean that I don't believe that I, or anyone else for that matter, should ever regret doing something that truly made them happy at one point. That said, I still put a lot of thought into something before doing it. ;)

Also, I definitely will do my research on a place to get the tattoo/tattoos when the time comes. Heck, I do my research on a good place for my ear piercings each time I get more. XD
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EvilJay
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Thu May 27, 2010 2:16 pm

You'll realize at 30 how little you knew at 20.

If you want a elephant, get an elephant, just save everyone that ever sees it the sob story.

Get an elephant cause you want an elephant, cause "this means this" and "that means that" is just lame, idiotic, and annoying.
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Angertank
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Thu May 27, 2010 2:51 pm

EvilJay wrote:You'll realize at 30 how little you knew at 20.
True dat.
kjd2121
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Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 12:13 pm

Thu May 27, 2010 3:03 pm

So where was your Mom during all the abuse? Not a very protective person. This disgusts me.

Why do you need to hide it from your Grand mother for 6 years. Is she expected to die or something? People should accept you for who you are including your GM.
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cowakegirl
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Thu May 27, 2010 10:00 pm

it sounds like you have quite a story...not to take anything away from that but i would say get a tattoo you like to look at. you might want to wait a while until you are comfortable with the idea. an elephant could be kick ass but it should be big enough to have some detail incorportated. if you are really focused on the red and blue maybe a ying yang will suffice...even something the size of a quarter is easy to distinguish.
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Angertank
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Thu May 27, 2010 11:44 pm

cowakegirl wrote:an elephant could be kick ass [...] red and blue
Image
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ILikeBond
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Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2009 2:50 am

Thu May 27, 2010 11:48 pm

JenniferK wrote:
Gloom wrote:If you wanna talk about abuse, my father was an alcoholic and drug addict my whole life. He also beat me, and mentally and verbally abused me and my mom for being fat. He started taking heroin when I was 16. He would drop in when no one was home and steal our belongings to support his habit. He was frequently in and out of girlfriend's houses, halfway homes, and jail. When I was 20 he died of an overdose in my house and I had to perform cpr on him until the paramedics came, only to find out he was already long gone... and then I had to come home and tell my mom (who stayed devout toward him no matter what).
The only difference is that my father is still alive.
Guess the CPR worked then. Bravo!
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fall_child138
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Fri May 28, 2010 3:36 am

if you're getting tattoos to represent life altering moments you've had and will experience, believe me there's a shit ton more to come, then be prepared for a gnarly bodysuit. rock on. find a good cover up artist
i think it's safe to say that the majority of people had rough childhoods, rough teenage years, rough young adult life, fuck i think there might be a pattern here...
i sure as shit don't want a reminder of that in my face, regardless of "the triumphs"
eitherway, you're gonna do what you want, just be smart about it.. not everything needs to be defined
JenniferK
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:54 am

Fri May 28, 2010 5:36 am

kjd2121 wrote:So where was your Mom during all the abuse? Not a very protective person. This disgusts me.

Why do you need to hide it from your Grand mother for 6 years. Is she expected to die or something? People should accept you for who you are including your GM.
A. She was abused as well, we were all afraid to speak up and get out.

B. No, the only person I need to hide it from after getting it is her because she doesn't approve of tattoos. I would be in college and would not need to hide it then. Once out of college, I would still need to hide it from here, but also, possibly, employers.

EvilJay wrote:Get an elephant cause you want an elephant, cause "this means this" and "that means that" is just lame, idiotic, and annoying.
Because getting something just because I want it and not because it has meaning is so much better? I once so a hell of a nice car that I liked and that was within my budget, but I didn't get it. I thought about my decision and went with a less expensive, but equally good as far as how long it should last, in order to save money towards college.

Life requires decisions, and decisions require thought. Like I said before, I am not impulsive.

cowakegirl wrote:you might want to wait a while until you are comfortable with the idea.
I realize this. This is why I am looking into tattoo ideas now. By the time I can actually get the tattoo, it would have been two years of thinking. If, by then, I don't want the tattoo for these reasons, or I just don't like the design, I won't get it. But, if after two years of sitting on the design and idea, I still want it as much then as I do today, I will get it.

fall_child138 wrote:if you're getting tattoos to represent life altering moments you've had and will experience, believe me there's a shit ton more to come,
I don't want a tattoo for every life-altering moment. I want this one (which, so far, there has only been two or three serious suggestions) to represent the last 16 years of my life as a whole.
mercury
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 8:17 pm

Fri May 28, 2010 6:44 pm

I say go for it. What if you regret it? Figure it out when it happens. Life changes constantly and it changes fast.

I personally am still working on getting tattoos done that I started dreaming up when I was nine. I don't think that just because you're young you'll regret it. I do think that there is no way to know until you get there tho, so you can't know now if you'll hate it later.

If you really want it and you think it's right, do it. If you hate it in twenty years, laser it or get a cover up.

I personally would not get it on my wrist, but that's just me. I would also probably get something bigger, more detailed, and more realistic. A great tattoo will still be a great tattoo when your sixty, so if you are going to get it, commit to it, and do it right.
JenniferK
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:54 am

Fri May 28, 2010 6:58 pm

mercury wrote:I say go for it. What if you regret it? Figure it out when it happens. Life changes constantly and it changes fast.

I personally am still working on getting tattoos done that I started dreaming up when I was nine. I don't think that just because you're young you'll regret it. I do think that there is no way to know until you get there tho, so you can't know now if you'll hate it later.

If you really want it and you think it's right, do it. If you hate it in twenty years, laser it or get a cover up.

I personally would not get it on my wrist, but that's just me. I would also probably get something bigger, more detailed, and more realistic. A great tattoo will still be a great tattoo when your sixty, so if you are going to get it, commit to it, and do it right.
Thanks for the support among all of the negativity! (:

Also, to the last paragraph, that does make sense. I just think something smaller, which doesn't require much detail in the first place, is right for me. Also, for when I do need to hide it, a smaller tattoo is easier to hide with makeup and jewelery.

If I ever decide I want something that would go, say, on my back or leg, then I could get it a bit bigger and allow for more detail.

But, frankly, a black silhouette doesn't require any detail. The elephant is a circle with four legs and a head with a trunk. XD
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Live4him
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Fri May 28, 2010 8:36 pm

Get what you want, I would suggest a bigger prettier elephant than just a silhouette? But whatever. Also realize that not everyone wants to hear the story behind tattoos, a lot of people just like the art. So don't feel the need to explain things to everyone.

Just make sure that this won't remind you of all the bad times, as thats not something that you want to be stuck with your entire life. Realize it might interfere with jobs, etc.

I know my adopted brother was beaten, starved, had bones broken as a child, and while he eventually stood up to his dad, and seems ok talking about it, I doubt he would ever be ok with something permanent on him reminding him of it.
JenniferK
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Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 12:54 am

Fri May 28, 2010 9:33 pm

Live4him wrote:Get what you want, I would suggest a bigger prettier elephant than just a silhouette? But whatever. Also realize that not everyone wants to hear the story behind tattoos, a lot of people just like the art. So don't feel the need to explain things to everyone.

Just make sure that this won't remind you of all the bad times, as thats not something that you want to be stuck with your entire life. Realize it might interfere with jobs, etc.

I know my adopted brother was beaten, starved, had bones broken as a child, and while he eventually stood up to his dad, and seems ok talking about it, I doubt he would ever be ok with something permanent on him reminding him of it.
Yup, I realize this. It was for the purposes of tattoo suggestions that I revealed what I did, though it hasn't helped much at all. XD

Also, I realize that as well, but I am okay with the permanent "reminder" because it is not a reminder to me, it is a representation of the years as a whole.

Like, the dragonfly would be to show courage and coming to peace with what happened. It doesn't directly represent what happened. And as long as that is what it means to me, that is all that matters. (:
annie420
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Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:58 pm

Wed Jun 02, 2010 8:58 pm

i agree that maybe you are still hung up on what happened to you in the past. maybe you need something to signify growth or rebirth, like a lotus flower or maybe a pheonix? a lotus could look realy pretty even if its small as for pheonix i think they look better when their big. personallly i haven't taken the jump to get a tattoo done in a very visible spot, you are young and still a teenager and probably don't know what you are going to do with the rest of your life and if you would want such a personal thing in such a visible spot. ( people tend to ask why you got the tattoo and if you are not up for explaning or being reminded of your past its probably not a good idea) also your profession might frown upon a visible tattoo. as for your mom taking you kudos to her, my mom took me as a grad present but made me look at the tattoo i was going to get for a year every day before i got it... and i still love it thanks to her :)
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