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reefdiver
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Mon May 07, 2012 1:34 pm

DEAR AMY:
I want my two best friends to be in my bridal party, however, they both have multiple large tattoos on their arms, chest and back that I think are hideous.

I absolutely adore my friends but when I think of how their tattoos will look in my wedding photos I cringe.

Should I not invite them to be bridesmaids and have two other friends who I am not as close to?

Or should I have them in the wedding and have their body art be a major distraction the whole time? Our wedding is in the Caribbean so cover-up sweaters are not an option.

I hate to think what my conservative grandparents will think about my tattooed bridesmaids.

Help! -- Madison

DEAR MADISON:

I suggest you approach this by being completely upfront, though not using the word “hideous” to describe their body art.

Tell them both: “I'm eager for you to be a bridesmaid, but my grandparents will be freaked out by your ink. Are you willing to wear a body art concealer on the day -- or wear dresses (or use a wrap) with more coverage? I understand if you don’t want to do this -- so just let me know as soon as you can. Either way I want you to be with me on my wedding day.”

Your friends have made a choice to be inked and one aspect of that choice is that it will occasionally affect their interactions with other people, both positively and negatively.

When a person agrees to be a bridesmaid (depending on the style of the wedding) she also agrees to appear in whatever uniform the bride chooses.

We all know that bridesmaid dresses are sometimes more unsightly than any tattoo, but on this day “hideous” is a bride's prerogative.
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Stubarber
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Mon May 07, 2012 2:56 pm

Dear Madisson -

Get your Grandmother hopelessly drunk 1st, let your friends be your friends and then stand back and enjoy the free entertainment!
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fe
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Mon May 07, 2012 3:00 pm

dear madison. you're a shitty friend.
Ach3r0n
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Mon May 07, 2012 3:05 pm

fe wrote:dear madison. you're a shitty friend.
+1
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EvilJay
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Mon May 07, 2012 7:37 pm

fe wrote:dear madison. you're a shitty friend.
[/thread]
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JimiDanglez
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Mon May 07, 2012 8:24 pm

fe wrote:dear madison. you're a shitty friend.
this. well said
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JimiDanglez
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Mon May 07, 2012 8:24 pm

These stories amaze me. Are people still this afraid of their parents and grandparents?
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yorvo
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Tue May 08, 2012 12:49 am

That's bullshit that you can't think of an idea for a dress that covers. Sweaters?. That's rich. Cover them bitches up. No one wants the hootchie patrol at their wedding. Besides the naysayers assume your friends must have these beautiful tattoos that the world must see. I'll bet they're covered in crap.
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suzridesahog
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Tue May 08, 2012 12:35 pm

I was in my sister's wedding several years ago and was faced with a similar problem. Although she is quite conservative she is accepting and didn't have a big problem with my visible tattoos. However, She was to be married at the Harvard Faculty Club in Cambridge,MA. Holy cow did I get strange looks walking through the campus!!!
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fe
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Tue May 08, 2012 12:53 pm

yea but unless they have a big FUCK YOU tattooed on them... or a pot leaf... and you consider yourself good enough friends with them to put them in your wedding party... then you really should accept who they are and what they choose to do with their bodies. she's just worried about her wedding pictures cause shes a superficial lame bridezilla.
i had my best friend in my wedding and she is covered in tattoos. and yea there were comments made but fuck them, ill have whoever i want in my wedding party.
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tundrakatiebean
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Fri Jun 08, 2012 2:51 am

One of my best friends had her sister as her bridesmaid in a low-back dress. Her sister has a fucking terrible tramp stamp - the all black tribal-flower pick off the wall kind of thing.

If you really care about someone in your life, you don't give a shit what they look like just because of how some pictures are going to look.
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